Letting Go, Moving On, and Being Real

I’m just going to be real with y’all.  The past two weeks have been full of surprises and struggles and ups and downs.  I’ve tried to write this post several times, but the words just wouldn’t come, the hurts were too fresh.   I’ve alluded to the fact that things weren’t all peaches and cream lately, talking about disappointment, and encouragement from Scripture last week.  This blog is suppose to be a journal, of sorts, of “life with the Jenkins”.  So I want to share the journey the Lord has been taking us on the last two weeks. 

Twelve days ago we were “suppose” to be moving into this sweet little cabin…

We had the boxes packed, the deposit ready, even the linens washed to fill our first home.  I can’t even tell you how excited I was.

Jeremy was suppose to be starting a new job as a youth pastor in the mountains of North Carolina and we were so excited to be beginning a new journey together.

But like I’ve said, our plans are not always God’s plans. 

This story really begins about 7 months ago.  Jeremy sent his resume to the church in February and he had his first interview scheduled at the beginning of  April.  He and I went again for a second interview in May.  We knew that there were three candidates that the church was considering and we knew that they had narrowed it down to two- with us being one of them. 

Jeremy received a call the day before our wedding (on June17th) and the pastor said that the search committee would like to offer him the position, tentative on a church vote. We were sooo excited!  The call couldn’t have come at a better time  and we felt much more secure knowing that a new job was on the horizon, especially because of the fact that we were getting married the next day.

A couple of weeks after our honeymoon Jeremy and I went up to the church to meet everyone for the  first time and Jeremy preached an amazing sermon.   We really enjoyed the day we spent there and we felt very welcomed by everyone at the church. 

Everything seemed to be going great and we started searching for places to live in the area.  We found the cabin, went and visited and knew that was where we wanted to live as soon as the job was official. 

The church is a traditional Southern Baptist church and the church had to have a congregational vote for Jeremy to officially get the job.  We thought it was a done deal.  We really didn’t even consider the “what if” the vote was no. 

Two weeks ago tomorrow,  one simple phone call changed everything we had planned for at least the next several years of our lives.  We didn’t quite get the 75% majority vote that we needed.  We didn’t get the job.  And with those few words, we were left sitting in my parents house, surrounded by boxes and suitcases wondering what in the world we were going to do. 

From that night until now, my emotions have run from confusion, disappointment, heartbreak, rejection, anger, bitterness, sadness, frustration, and finally hopefulness and peace this past week. 

I’m finally loosening the grip on my plans, being ok with the unknown (not fully ok, but much more than before).  I’m not taking anything for sure until it is a done deal. 

It’s been a rough two weeks, but it’s time to let go, and it’s time to move on.  We don’t understand everything, but we do understand that that we are still in the center of God’s will right where we are. 

We’ve actually had a pretty wonderful week this week- Jeremy found a full time job working at a car dealership in Spartanburg, SC (so if you need a new car, you know where to go! ) and I was offered a position as a teacher assistant in the local school system.  We feel so extremely blessed to have been able to find full time jobs so quickly!  We are so grateful for my parents allowing us to stay with them until we can get settled into our new jobs and find a place to rent.  We start our new jobs next week, so keep us in your prayers!

For now, our “plan” is to focus on us and our marriage and just really begin living on our own.  We have been married for two months but still haven’t really been able to be just the two of us.  We’re excited to be able to do that soon!  We’re going to take a break from searching and applying for church jobs and just work and build up our savings and just enjoy life.  We’re not really planning.  We’ve seen where our plans get us so we’re just going to take it one day at a time and thank the Lord for each day He gives us- no matter what it may bring.  I’m learning to trust Him more fully and to live with the freedom of not having my plans written in stone.

“For this is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it”

Psalm 118:24